There is beauty ALL around us, but it’s something you only see when you open your eyes. This is the thing…you are only 1 blink away from seeing signs EVERYWHERE. All around you. I sometimes believe that God put this angel into my life to bring me back to him. There was a point in which I was blind, just chasing the day, going to church on Sunday to simply cross if off the list and going through the motions of life. Ever since Gabriella came into my life, I have learned to SLOW down, to look up more, to wake up with gratitude and say THANK you everyday, because everyday is a gift. I have learned that what people take for granted, others pray for. Perspective is a gift. I am very aware of that. Does that mean everyday is full of sunshine and unicorns? Nope, but they are full of gratitude, no matter what the situation is. I see signs ALL the time now and it brings me comfort and peace. And I ALWAYS see them when I need them the most. Hawks, pennies, hearts in nature, stories through strangers, numbers and songs.
I think the signs are reminders that sometimes you just have to ACCEPT that what is happening is happening.
Be with it. Just be with it.
Fully accept it instead of going into denial mode and resisting it. I did this initially and I think we all do (it’s human nature), but in the end, it only made me feel worse.
Let your heart be open. Let your mind be open. Let your soul be open. Surrender and accept that whatever is happening is your journey and you’re exactly where you need to be. This is easier said than done because our minds are created to shy away from uncomfortable feelings- we naturally try to mask our pain. We want the pain to go away and to just FEEL good.
I am here to tell you that as hard as it is, it’s worth embracing the difficult times. Be with it. I don’t think life is about feeling good all the time. It’s all the feels- the good ones, the bad ones, the scary ones, the anxious ones, but if you can find a way to BE with it, embrace it, accept it, you will be able to deal with it on a different level. It’s about following the current instead of swimming against it.
This morning on my walk, I was thinking about how sweet Gabriella’s surgery is 12 days away. 288 hours. As I had that thought, I saw this snowy heart right in front of me. My eyes were open. If this was 3 years ago, I would have walked right by that heart or maybe even stepped on it. That snowy heart was just the reminder that I needed because my own heart started to race thinking of the days ahead. Instead, this sign slowed it down..it gave me peace. Well just like that snowy heart, it’s here and it will be gone soon…when the sun comes up and melts it. And just like the pain and anxiousness that I feel deep down, it too will be gone one day. That is why it’s always sunny above the clouds.
On December 27th, I have no choice but to walk into that hospital and hand over my baby girl to a team of surgeons and nurses for hours. Hours that will feel longer than normal. It’s the ultimate blind faith. It’s the word my sister always reminds me of, Trust.
Trust your journey. Trust the struggle. Trust life. Love is all around.